I (Would Have) Left My Heart At PAX East

Yes, friends, I’m afraid it’s true. In spite of the fact that I’ve been managing to stay out of the red, financially, I was unable to make it to PAX East this year as I had pledged and been so excited to do. This is kind of a three-fold tragedy. Layer number one, it would have provided this ol’ blog with content so fresh it wasn’t even available for purchase in retail stores yet. We’re a little behind the times, here, often posting things several days (weeks, sometimes years) after their recommended sale date. Layer number two, it would have placed me in what I like to think is my element… Actually, strike that. It’s no one’s element. It’s an unusual amalgamation of so many different types of people all there for their own reasons. You have the poor models showing off the girls as they’re (hopefully) paid well to do, the basement virgins that ogle them the most, PC, tabletop, fighting, and console exclusive gamers with all of the branching subsections held within these classifications.

"Cheer up, little guy. There's always next year."

The basement virgin class likely allows for the least flexibility of the bunch. They live in basements and they’re virgins. What else do we need to know? What other salient details can be used to classify them? Age brackets, maybe?

But my point is, conventions are awkward and insane. But I enjoy the challenge of coping with such awkward insanity. It keeps everyone sharp, or they’re swayed by the subliminal promise planted within the siren song and wind up injuring their leg when invited on-stage to imitate the Undead dance (WoW) or asking Felicia Day what color her pubes are. These are both things that have happened at BlizzCon, and while one is more terrible than the other, I like to think they rely on the general awkwardness and insanity that people attempting conventions can get swept away in.

They’re unlike any other event, IMO, and thus it seems implied that normal rules do not apply.

The thread is loosening and this isn’t really making a whole lot of sense anymore, but it’s out there in the world now. What else is out there in the world? This lovely attempt by the folks over at Destructoid at summarizing the PAX East experience for those of us who couldn’t make it this year.

It’s kind of like a video equivalent of Jimmy John’s. They offer free smells, you know. And this smell was free, though God help you if you ever want to sample smells at one of the Penny Arcade Expos. Because no God or amount of gods will be able to help you after that. And while I don’t always love the Holmesian stabs at humor, a lot of people probably think I come off like an idiot, too. To each their own.

And though one of my favorite Ratatat songs is the backing track, my favorite part of the video is actually their take on L.A. Noire. It seems to be a minority stance, at the moment, as many journalists are crapping themselves out of what I can only describe as unbridled joy about what this game could be due to the super serious face nature of it (and the seriousness of the faces in it). One journalist over at IGN even marvels at how they show a bare vagina in a totally grownup way. Presumably because it belongs to a dead woman. This prospect seems to excite some. Again, to each their own.

Personally, I wanted to get bicep-deep in Portal 2 and Duke Nukem Forever. Mostly due to my abridged PAX Prime experience last year.

Oh, well. It’s you and me next year, sad pass! Who else is comin’?