“Just sit back and relax, kitty cat.”

There’s something I’ve wanted to write about for the longest time, but somehow never got around to. Possibly because I was usually busy writing about all kinds of videogame bullshit. If I were sticking with the standard fare, in place of what I’m about to talk about, I’d likely post something about review scores. Something about CliffyB huffing and puffing about Gears of War 3 not getting as many perfect scores as the proud papa felt it deserved, or the amount which Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception may have received due to what I call the “Return of the King Effect.” That sounds like a subject ripe for ridicule, critique, or deep diving on one of the bigger problems plaguing the gaming industry today (entitlement re: review scores). Instead of talking mad shit, I’d rather share with you the dankest writing I’ve read in years, son. Truly, it’s the chronic of humor. The real sticky-icky-icky. Ooo-whee!

Standard, extremely white dude comments aside, the miniature masterpiece you just read was written by this guy named Chip Zdarsky. All that exists of the story is that single page written by Mr. Zdarsky nearly a year ago, who is wont to write single pages of stories and post them on his Tumblr. While it’s sad bordering upon lamentable to know one page is all that exists of The Petals Fall Twice, the brevity gives it a special passive trait. Since all we get is one page we’ll appreciate it all the more, and it gets to remain that perfect little snowflake forever and ever. It won’t deflate from this point or ultimately disappoint us.

To try to relate this to the common themes of this blog, Chip Zdarsky basically crafted his own compact version of Shadows of the Damned. It’s a one-off that isn’t meant to simply lay the foundation for further installments. As the author, he expressed what he intended and from there it’s, as James Z once said, on to the next one. We aren’t looking at the literary equivalent of Too Human, where the conclusion is sacrificed to plant the seeds for a series.

As if this dude needed to bolster his awesomeness, I noticed he’s also apparently tight with Kate Beaton (the genius behind Hark! A Vagrant). To any children who might stumble upon this blog, you’re gonna want to be like ChippyZ when you grow up. He can write, he’s funny, and his friends are rad. These are the only thing anyone ever really needs in life as far as I’m concerned. Remember that.

On the belated side of things, hope everyone had a vurr Murr (very Merry) Christmas! To you Hanukkah types, happy day eight! Lastly, to anyone celebrating Kwanzaa, please leave a comment letting me know more about this holiday. (And happy day two!)

[Found over at The Stranger]