Ten Awesome Opening Sentences

“It still counts, even though it happened when he was unconscious.”
- Miranda July from No one belongs here more than you

“This is a tale of a meeting of two lonesome, skinny, fairly old white men on a planet which was dying fast.”
- Kurt Vonnegut Jr. from Breakfast of Champions

“Then there’s the time I went as Hitler for Halloween.”
- Ryan Boudinot from The Littlest Hitler

“I can really bust shit out on the flute.”
- Ryan Boudinot from The Littlest Hitler

“A sum of money is a leading character in this tale about people, just as a sum of honey might properly be a leading character in a tale about bees.”
- Kurt Vonnegut Jr. from God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater

“I was surprised to hear my name mentioned on the evening news one day.”
- Yasutaka Tsutsui from Salmonella Men on Planet Porno

“I never could stomach Adams and then one day he’s standing in my kitchen, in his underwear.”
- George Saunders from In Persuasion Nation

“I don’t want anyone to die in my stories anymore.”
- George Saunders from In Persuasion Nation

“The handshake with Hugh Lawson turned into a soft wrestling match, a quiet force of fingers against each other along with the soft pumping motion the act required.”
- David Means from Assorted Fire Events

“Katagiri found a giant frog waiting for him in his apartment.”
- Haruki Murakami from After the Quake

Last week one of my very talented mentors tasked me with the assignment they imposed upon their creative writing students at the beginning of the quarter. “Collect ten of your favorite opening sentences from stories.” You’ll see I lumped novels in with stories, which I don’t feel runs contrary to the assignment, but these were the results.

It’s an interesting exercise, and one I’m sure will inform you or others as to your sensibilities. Certainly got me thinking how drastically different these sentences are from my opening sentences. Primary difference: much of them are funny, if only for their ability to disorient.

If you’re curious or thing this could be cool, you’re most certainly the type who will actually find it cool. In the event that you feel so inclined, I’d even recommend posting your ten sentences in the comments.

Oh, and in case it wasn’t a given, you should also read each of these novels/collections because they’re some of my absolute favorites. Trust me, I worked at a bookstore for four years. My tastes are as refined or whatever as they get!